I had “poem 3” all ready to post and then wrote this today and really wanted to share it. hope you en-joy:

I am new to joy,
I don’t yet trust it.
It is an unfamiliar acquaintance
that threatens my fragile reserve.

Sometimes when I feel it
I get confused.
What is this sensation
that I hardly recognize?

Sometimes when I feel it
I am embarrassed.
It was a feeling to hide in my youth,
a source of shame.

Sometimes when I feel it,
I want to give it back.
It means the end of
my wisdom (my depression),
the end of
my identity (my crutch).

Sometimes when I feel it,
I look over my shoulder.
Who is tricking me?
When will I fall?

Sometimes when I feel it,
I want to cry
from my overwhelming love
for other people,
for nature,
for myself.

Happiness is fleeting,
joy an intentional choice.
It must be cultivated,
coddled,
honed as a skill.

Please let me accept it.
Please let me learn.
Please let me be joy-full.

*please.

–the violet zoo